Dibble's room
McGrew's room
Cuthbert's room
* not their real names, in case you were wondering!!
To protect their identity online, I thought I'd name them after three of the firemen in one of my favourite TV programmes... Can you guess which one?!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Rooms are ready
Dibble's room
McGrew's room
Cuthbert's room
* not their real names, in case you were wondering!!
To protect their identity online, I thought I'd name them after three of the firemen in one of my favourite TV programmes... Can you guess which one?!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Washing machine crisis
Our washing machine has just died. Not slowly or gracefully, but in a cocophany of bangs and shakes, culminating in a shower of burnt plastic from its gut being dumped onto the nearly clean washing within.
Better now than in a month's time, mind you... and it's served us well for 11 years.
off to Comet I go...
Better now than in a month's time, mind you... and it's served us well for 11 years.
off to Comet I go...
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
What I learnt at the weekend
I have learned that:
Mothercare staff are very helpful
There are hundreds of different types of push-chairs
Stair gates come in different colours, sizes and styles
Stair gates have extension pieces so they'll fit wide stairs
Mothercare store cards are called Mothercards
Mothercards are pink
Mothercards get you money off :o)
No matter how many different combinations are tried, it is impossible to get three car seats in the back of a Skoda Octavia...
Mothercare staff are very patient!
Having three boys means having to buy a people carrier
When compared to the cost of a people carrier, car seats aren't actually that expensive
The Citroen C4 Grand Picasso comes in some very suspect colours, like 'anodised gold'
The Citroen C4 Grand Picasso has a panoramic roof so you can watch the sky (not while driving, of course!)
Our new car will be a Citroen C4 Grand Picasso... in anodised gold...
Mothercare staff are very helpful
There are hundreds of different types of push-chairs
Stair gates come in different colours, sizes and styles
Stair gates have extension pieces so they'll fit wide stairs
Mothercare store cards are called Mothercards
Mothercards are pink
Mothercards get you money off :o)
No matter how many different combinations are tried, it is impossible to get three car seats in the back of a Skoda Octavia...
Mothercare staff are very patient!
Having three boys means having to buy a people carrier
When compared to the cost of a people carrier, car seats aren't actually that expensive
The Citroen C4 Grand Picasso comes in some very suspect colours, like 'anodised gold'
The Citroen C4 Grand Picasso has a panoramic roof so you can watch the sky (not while driving, of course!)
Our new car will be a Citroen C4 Grand Picasso... in anodised gold...
Thursday, July 10, 2008
The panel - they say yes!
Just back from the adoption panel - so excited!
We went in early, and were introduced to the 12 people round the table - a mix of legal advisors, medical advisors, adoptive parents, social workers from other agencies...
They made us feel really at ease, and then some of the panel members asked us questions they'd prepared in advance, having read our report.
There were questions on church and our busy-ness, about why we were thinking of up to three children, about how we and our church would value diversity, and about our resilience as a couple.
We left for them to deliberate, and within a couple of minutes, the chair person had come out to tell us that they'd said yes.
So we'll be approved to adopt up to three children - which is just as well, considering!
Next stop is the matching panel on 30th July... and before that, loads to do, loads to buy, and lots of effort needed to stop Mrs D spending all our money in Mothercare and ELC!
We went in early, and were introduced to the 12 people round the table - a mix of legal advisors, medical advisors, adoptive parents, social workers from other agencies...
They made us feel really at ease, and then some of the panel members asked us questions they'd prepared in advance, having read our report.
There were questions on church and our busy-ness, about why we were thinking of up to three children, about how we and our church would value diversity, and about our resilience as a couple.
We left for them to deliberate, and within a couple of minutes, the chair person had come out to tell us that they'd said yes.
So we'll be approved to adopt up to three children - which is just as well, considering!
Next stop is the matching panel on 30th July... and before that, loads to do, loads to buy, and lots of effort needed to stop Mrs D spending all our money in Mothercare and ELC!
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Panel tomorrow
It's all done.
Nothing more we can do.
Interviews held.
Answers given.
Reports written.
Signatures signed.
Tomorrow we face the panel.
Excited. A wee bit apprehensive. Mostly calm.
Sure in the knowledge that God has gone before us.
Nothing more we can do.
Interviews held.
Answers given.
Reports written.
Signatures signed.
Tomorrow we face the panel.
Excited. A wee bit apprehensive. Mostly calm.
Sure in the knowledge that God has gone before us.
Friday, July 04, 2008
School places available
Just a wee update - we heard yesterday from the head teacher of the school we'd like the two eldest to go to, that although she didn't strictly have spaces, she'd phoned the local authority and explained the situation - they've told her to give us places! How fantastic is that! God is so good!
We're still unsure which years the boys will go into. The eldest should be starting year 1 in September, but he may benefit from going into reception, given all the change he's going to be facing - and he has a late summer birthday making him one of the youngest in his class at the moment (the cut-off for school years is the end of August). The middle one will then either go into reception (full-time) or nursery (part-time), depending on what we decide (with their social worker) for the eldest. We don't want them both in the same year.
But the head teacher has said she doesn't need to know what we're going to do until the end of August - which again is fantastic, and gives us a bit of time to consider properly.
Jobs this weekend include completing the matching report for the boys' social worker (questions like 'why do you think these children are a good match for you' - this will form the basis of the information available to the matching panel when they meet to decide on the match at the end of this month. We also need to think of questions we want to ask the boys' foster carers, as we hope to be able to speak to them next week.
There's so much going on - lots of phone calls, emails, forms to complete, lists of things to do, lists of things to buy... but through it all, we have peace. A peace that it's right. A peace that God is completely in the driving seat.
We're still unsure which years the boys will go into. The eldest should be starting year 1 in September, but he may benefit from going into reception, given all the change he's going to be facing - and he has a late summer birthday making him one of the youngest in his class at the moment (the cut-off for school years is the end of August). The middle one will then either go into reception (full-time) or nursery (part-time), depending on what we decide (with their social worker) for the eldest. We don't want them both in the same year.
But the head teacher has said she doesn't need to know what we're going to do until the end of August - which again is fantastic, and gives us a bit of time to consider properly.
Jobs this weekend include completing the matching report for the boys' social worker (questions like 'why do you think these children are a good match for you' - this will form the basis of the information available to the matching panel when they meet to decide on the match at the end of this month. We also need to think of questions we want to ask the boys' foster carers, as we hope to be able to speak to them next week.
There's so much going on - lots of phone calls, emails, forms to complete, lists of things to do, lists of things to buy... but through it all, we have peace. A peace that it's right. A peace that God is completely in the driving seat.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Our new family
We had a great meeting with the social workers yesterday.
We had loads of questions.
They didn't!
We saw photos taken on Friday, as well as a video of the boys feeding the ducks at a local pond!
We're as sure as we can be that they're the ones for us! Wow!
Words can't really describe how we're feeling - but 'excited, overwhelmed, apprehensive, anxious, can't wait' go some way...
We've been to see the headteacher at the school we think is the right one for the two older boys - but there may not be spaces - we're praying hard that spaces would appear!
We've lots to do over the next few weeks - not least the purchase of 3 beds, 3 wardrobes, 3 car seats, a high chair, stair guards... you can imagine!
If everything goes well, we'll be approved by the matching panel on 30 July, go on holiday for a week or so at the beginning of August, start introductions with the boys mid-August, and have them at home with us in time for the older two to start school at the beginning of September. That's only about 8 weeks away!
8 weeks till we're mummy and daddy.
We had loads of questions.
They didn't!
We saw photos taken on Friday, as well as a video of the boys feeding the ducks at a local pond!
We're as sure as we can be that they're the ones for us! Wow!
Words can't really describe how we're feeling - but 'excited, overwhelmed, apprehensive, anxious, can't wait' go some way...
We've been to see the headteacher at the school we think is the right one for the two older boys - but there may not be spaces - we're praying hard that spaces would appear!
We've lots to do over the next few weeks - not least the purchase of 3 beds, 3 wardrobes, 3 car seats, a high chair, stair guards... you can imagine!
If everything goes well, we'll be approved by the matching panel on 30 July, go on holiday for a week or so at the beginning of August, start introductions with the boys mid-August, and have them at home with us in time for the older two to start school at the beginning of September. That's only about 8 weeks away!
8 weeks till we're mummy and daddy.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
24 hours
What a lot can happen in 24 hours.
It feels a bit like we've been through a full spin cycle in the washing machine!
A few weeks ago, our social worker sent us details of three boys who need to be adopted. They're aged nearly 5, nearly 4, and 14 months. We expressed an interest, and their SW said she'd speak to our SW when he got back from holiday. They spoke to each other on Tuesday afternoon. Our SW sent the boys' SW the report about us. Which she read. And then got excited.
Yesterday, the boys' SW sent our SW the reports about the boys. Our SW came round and gave us copies of the reports last night. I've been away in Sussex, and didn't get back till tonight. So Mrs D spent 2 hours last night on the phone to me reading the reports down the phone! Not easy reading. Lots of difficult stuff to come to terms with about their past.
The boys' SW wants to come and meet us. She's coming on Monday afternoon. She's postponed some of her holiday so she can come.
Our SW is coming round tomorrow to go through the boys' reports with us. To discuss the issues / points he is unsure of. To discuss what the boys' SW may ask us on Monday.
We have questions about what we've read in the boys' reports. She most likely has questions about what she's read in our report. Monday will be for getting some answers.
As I see it there are two outcomes from Monday...
1. We or the boys' SW (or both of us) don't feel there's a match - so nothing more happens and we go on looking for our children.
2. We and the boys' SW feel there is a match - assuming we're approved on 10 July, we'd go to the boys' agency's matching panel at the end of July, with introductions to the children soon after.
It's not really supposed to happen like this. We're supposed to go to our panel and get approved. Then we start to look at details of children. Then a SW might want to come and visit us to talk about a child / children. A few rounds of this - then we come across the 'right' ones. Then matching panel. Then introductions. A more leisurely time-frame. Time to take stock. Time to get used to things.
I'm not sure that we really know how we feel.
Terrified? yes.
Excited? yes.
Apprehensive? Anxious? probably.
And how do we know if these are the ones for us? How do we know?
Unfortunately God doesn't send emails!
Looks like the weekend will be spent praying / tidying / praying / cleaning / praying / gardening...
All help gratefully received!
It feels a bit like we've been through a full spin cycle in the washing machine!
A few weeks ago, our social worker sent us details of three boys who need to be adopted. They're aged nearly 5, nearly 4, and 14 months. We expressed an interest, and their SW said she'd speak to our SW when he got back from holiday. They spoke to each other on Tuesday afternoon. Our SW sent the boys' SW the report about us. Which she read. And then got excited.
Yesterday, the boys' SW sent our SW the reports about the boys. Our SW came round and gave us copies of the reports last night. I've been away in Sussex, and didn't get back till tonight. So Mrs D spent 2 hours last night on the phone to me reading the reports down the phone! Not easy reading. Lots of difficult stuff to come to terms with about their past.
The boys' SW wants to come and meet us. She's coming on Monday afternoon. She's postponed some of her holiday so she can come.
Our SW is coming round tomorrow to go through the boys' reports with us. To discuss the issues / points he is unsure of. To discuss what the boys' SW may ask us on Monday.
We have questions about what we've read in the boys' reports. She most likely has questions about what she's read in our report. Monday will be for getting some answers.
As I see it there are two outcomes from Monday...
1. We or the boys' SW (or both of us) don't feel there's a match - so nothing more happens and we go on looking for our children.
2. We and the boys' SW feel there is a match - assuming we're approved on 10 July, we'd go to the boys' agency's matching panel at the end of July, with introductions to the children soon after.
It's not really supposed to happen like this. We're supposed to go to our panel and get approved. Then we start to look at details of children. Then a SW might want to come and visit us to talk about a child / children. A few rounds of this - then we come across the 'right' ones. Then matching panel. Then introductions. A more leisurely time-frame. Time to take stock. Time to get used to things.
I'm not sure that we really know how we feel.
Terrified? yes.
Excited? yes.
Apprehensive? Anxious? probably.
And how do we know if these are the ones for us? How do we know?
Unfortunately God doesn't send emails!
Looks like the weekend will be spent praying / tidying / praying / cleaning / praying / gardening...
All help gratefully received!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Three boys on the beach
We had a fantastic time yesterday at Druridge Bay.
The sun shone despite the weather forecast, and the three boys loved it.
Paddling.
Big waves.
Bigger waves.
Wellies overtopped.
Wet now.
Might as well sit down in the water.
Much wetter now!
Much giggling.
Stones were thrown into the waves.
Doglet ran like a thing possessed.
Castles were constructed.
Castles were demolished.
Castles were reconstructed with bigger and better moats.
Picnic lunch.
Cherry tomatoes. Cucumber. Ham. Bread.
Grapes.
Half grapes for doglet.
Chocolate muffins.
Waves getting bigger.
Closer to the castle.
Water in the moat.
Castle destroyed.
Happy days!
The sun shone despite the weather forecast, and the three boys loved it.
Paddling.
Big waves.
Bigger waves.
Wellies overtopped.
Wet now.
Might as well sit down in the water.
Much wetter now!
Much giggling.
Stones were thrown into the waves.
Doglet ran like a thing possessed.
Castles were constructed.
Castles were demolished.
Castles were reconstructed with bigger and better moats.
Picnic lunch.
Cherry tomatoes. Cucumber. Ham. Bread.
Grapes.
Half grapes for doglet.
Chocolate muffins.
Waves getting bigger.
Closer to the castle.
Water in the moat.
Castle destroyed.
Happy days!
Three boys and me
I survived.
More importantly, the three boys survived.
No lasting adverse effects, as far as I know!
It was with some reservation and a certain amount of arm-twisting that I agreed, some months ago, to look after our three god-sons for a day all by myself. My dear wife, Mrs D, would go off to work, I would take a day's leave, and all would be well. Or so she assured me.
The three boys arrived on Thursday evening, their parents bathing them and putting them to bed, before disappearing back home to pack before their trip to Madrid for a wedding.
We woke on Friday morning to singing and chatting from the middle boy... Mrs D helped get the boys dressed and ensure the appropriate cereals were consumed before heading off to work.
I was alone.
By myself.
Nobody else but me. And the three boys of course!
First task - get the oldest one to school and the middle one to nursery.
We left plenty of time.
We all got into the car.
We arrived at the school.
Far too early. The lollipop lady hadn't even turned up yet!
Better early than late I thought.
It started to rain.
We had to park 5 minutes walk from the school.
We had no coats.
We got a bit wet.
Lesson number one - remember the coats even if there aren't any clouds in the sky!
Back to the car with the youngest. Home.
We played train track and cars.
Then back in the car - parents and tots at church.
Played with cars and play-dough.
Then back in the car to get the middle one from nursery.
I took all the coats. It didn't rain.
Middle one collected.
Back to the car. Home.
Lunch.
Youngest's nappy changed - not poopy - hurrah!
C-Beebies...
OK, OK, I gave in - but only for 30 minutes - Iggle piggle is very strange!
More train track and cars.
Then back in the car to get the oldest one from school.
I took all the coats. It didn't rain.
Oldest one collected.
Back to the car. Home.
More train track and cars.
Lego.
Mrs D arrives home.
I survived!
Then KidzKlub, for a rest.
(Now I never thought I'd find myself saying that!)
More importantly, the three boys survived.
No lasting adverse effects, as far as I know!
It was with some reservation and a certain amount of arm-twisting that I agreed, some months ago, to look after our three god-sons for a day all by myself. My dear wife, Mrs D, would go off to work, I would take a day's leave, and all would be well. Or so she assured me.
The three boys arrived on Thursday evening, their parents bathing them and putting them to bed, before disappearing back home to pack before their trip to Madrid for a wedding.
We woke on Friday morning to singing and chatting from the middle boy... Mrs D helped get the boys dressed and ensure the appropriate cereals were consumed before heading off to work.
I was alone.
By myself.
Nobody else but me. And the three boys of course!
First task - get the oldest one to school and the middle one to nursery.
We left plenty of time.
We all got into the car.
We arrived at the school.
Far too early. The lollipop lady hadn't even turned up yet!
Better early than late I thought.
It started to rain.
We had to park 5 minutes walk from the school.
We had no coats.
We got a bit wet.
Lesson number one - remember the coats even if there aren't any clouds in the sky!
Back to the car with the youngest. Home.
We played train track and cars.
Then back in the car - parents and tots at church.
Played with cars and play-dough.
Then back in the car to get the middle one from nursery.
I took all the coats. It didn't rain.
Middle one collected.
Back to the car. Home.
Lunch.
Youngest's nappy changed - not poopy - hurrah!
C-Beebies...
OK, OK, I gave in - but only for 30 minutes - Iggle piggle is very strange!
More train track and cars.
Then back in the car to get the oldest one from school.
I took all the coats. It didn't rain.
Oldest one collected.
Back to the car. Home.
More train track and cars.
Lego.
Mrs D arrives home.
I survived!
Then KidzKlub, for a rest.
(Now I never thought I'd find myself saying that!)
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Adoption - the journey continues
This is the text of an email Mrs D and I recently sent to many of our friends and family - as an update on where we've got to, and where we might be going over the next few months...
Apologies for another group email, but we thought it was about time we updated you on where we've got to so far. It was last May when we emailed you to let you know of the journey we were embarking on - so much has happened, and yet we're still not there... but we're heading in the right direction!
If we had to describe the past year in one word, it would be - waiting!
But we know that God is directing all of this - however frustrated we have got with the speed of things (and we have been very frustrated!), we know that His timing is perfect!
July 07
In July we visited our GP for a medical examination - this is standard for people applying for adoption.
No problems there, as far as we know!
August 07
We had a fantastic 4 week trip to western Canada to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary - we found ourselves saying 'wow' just about every day - scenery, open spaces, wildlife, and the oh-so friendly people!
A real blessing and an opportunity to leave the waiting behind for a while...
November 07
We waited until the end of November before anything else much happened - we attended a series of four preparation days with 4 other couples, and were taken through the process of adoption, what kinds of things children who need adoption may have gone through, and the special parenting required to help these children deal with their past and enable them to flourish as adults.
Having successfully completed these four days, we then waited some more!
February
The formal assessment started at the beginning of February, when our social worker (let's call him SW) came to visit.
February to May
SW then visited us about once every 10 days until the middle of May - in between we've had homework to do, writing about our house, the things we like doing and how we get on with each other. At each of the meetings, SW has probed and prodded into just about every area of our lives - to the extent that at times we've felt as if we've been turned inside out and shaken until everything has fallen out. SW has also met with my sister, two of our friends, and Mrs D's parents. He's spoken to Mrs D's deputy head teacher, and has even visited us at Kidz Klub (SW explained afterwards that it was the most surreal experience of his life - but in a good way!). SW has also visited us when we had our three wonderful god-sons to stay - to see how we interacted with children... thankfully that visit went well!
Right now
The assessment is now complete, and SW is in the process of writing it all up. He's coming to meet us again on Thursday this week to go through the draft report with us - we'll then have the opportunity to correct all the mistakes and make sure we're happy with what it says - it'll be a bit strange to read a 40 page report all about us!
Thursday 10th July 08
Our application to be adoptive parents will be presented to the adoption panel on 10 July. This panel is a group of up to 12 people, with various experiences of adoption - some social workers, a medical advisor, a legal advisor, and some people who have themselves adopted children. They'll have all read our report before the day, and will be meeting to discuss us and hopefully approve us as adoptive parents. We'll be going along too, and they'll probably want to ask us some questions - but SW will be there to support us and help us answer!
July onwards
Assuming we're approved on 10th July, we'll then proceed into what they call the 'matching' stage.
Our thinking at this stage is that we will consider adopting two brothers or a brother and a sister, with the oldest being under 6, but hopefully younger.
SW will be on the look-out for children awaiting adoption, and will be speaking to other adoption agencies about us - in fact he's already started to do this, and has shown us details of some groups of brothers and sisters - although for various reasons, we don't think they're the ones for us.
When we think we've found a possible match, SW will contact the children's social worker and request the children's report - describing the chidren's background and current situation, including medical reports and evaluations - pretty much everything known about the children, written down in black and white. Once we've read that, and still want to proceed, the children's social worker will probably visit us at home to see where we live and what we're like - and to ascertain whether or not we'd be suitable to adopt those children. The children's social worker may be visiting a number of potential adopters at this stage, to find the best ones for those children.
If the children's social worker decides that we're right for those children, then we would go forward to a 'matching panel' at the children's adoption agency. Again, we'd probably be asked to attend that, and it could be anywhere in the country, depending on where the children are from. An approval from that panel would mean we were matched with those children. A programme of introductions would then be planned, probably over a period of a few weeks - this would involve us meeting the children for a few hours to start with, slowly increasing the length of time until we were getting them up in the morning and putting them to bed at night. Once everybody is happy with how things are going, we'd take the children home to live with us...!
If everything proceeded well, we'd then look to apply for an adoption order about 6 months after that - but that's a way off yet!
And so...
We're really thankful that the assessment has gone well, with many positive comments about us from SW.
We'd value your prayers and support over the next few weeks - as we wait and prepare for Panel on 10th July, and as we start to consider possible matches with children.
One of the most difficult things for us is reading the short profiles of children who are awaiting adoption - and then trying to decide if we want to request more details. Please pray that it would be abundantly clear which children we should enquire about.
If you want to keep up-to-date with how things are going, please have a look at my blog (that's here!) which I update from time to time with our latest news about adoption and other random things!
Thanks for reading this far - and for your support, love and prayers for us.
x
Apologies for another group email, but we thought it was about time we updated you on where we've got to so far. It was last May when we emailed you to let you know of the journey we were embarking on - so much has happened, and yet we're still not there... but we're heading in the right direction!
If we had to describe the past year in one word, it would be - waiting!
But we know that God is directing all of this - however frustrated we have got with the speed of things (and we have been very frustrated!), we know that His timing is perfect!
July 07
In July we visited our GP for a medical examination - this is standard for people applying for adoption.
No problems there, as far as we know!
August 07
We had a fantastic 4 week trip to western Canada to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary - we found ourselves saying 'wow' just about every day - scenery, open spaces, wildlife, and the oh-so friendly people!
A real blessing and an opportunity to leave the waiting behind for a while...
November 07
We waited until the end of November before anything else much happened - we attended a series of four preparation days with 4 other couples, and were taken through the process of adoption, what kinds of things children who need adoption may have gone through, and the special parenting required to help these children deal with their past and enable them to flourish as adults.
Having successfully completed these four days, we then waited some more!
February
The formal assessment started at the beginning of February, when our social worker (let's call him SW) came to visit.
February to May
SW then visited us about once every 10 days until the middle of May - in between we've had homework to do, writing about our house, the things we like doing and how we get on with each other. At each of the meetings, SW has probed and prodded into just about every area of our lives - to the extent that at times we've felt as if we've been turned inside out and shaken until everything has fallen out. SW has also met with my sister, two of our friends, and Mrs D's parents. He's spoken to Mrs D's deputy head teacher, and has even visited us at Kidz Klub (SW explained afterwards that it was the most surreal experience of his life - but in a good way!). SW has also visited us when we had our three wonderful god-sons to stay - to see how we interacted with children... thankfully that visit went well!
Right now
The assessment is now complete, and SW is in the process of writing it all up. He's coming to meet us again on Thursday this week to go through the draft report with us - we'll then have the opportunity to correct all the mistakes and make sure we're happy with what it says - it'll be a bit strange to read a 40 page report all about us!
Thursday 10th July 08
Our application to be adoptive parents will be presented to the adoption panel on 10 July. This panel is a group of up to 12 people, with various experiences of adoption - some social workers, a medical advisor, a legal advisor, and some people who have themselves adopted children. They'll have all read our report before the day, and will be meeting to discuss us and hopefully approve us as adoptive parents. We'll be going along too, and they'll probably want to ask us some questions - but SW will be there to support us and help us answer!
July onwards
Assuming we're approved on 10th July, we'll then proceed into what they call the 'matching' stage.
Our thinking at this stage is that we will consider adopting two brothers or a brother and a sister, with the oldest being under 6, but hopefully younger.
SW will be on the look-out for children awaiting adoption, and will be speaking to other adoption agencies about us - in fact he's already started to do this, and has shown us details of some groups of brothers and sisters - although for various reasons, we don't think they're the ones for us.
When we think we've found a possible match, SW will contact the children's social worker and request the children's report - describing the chidren's background and current situation, including medical reports and evaluations - pretty much everything known about the children, written down in black and white. Once we've read that, and still want to proceed, the children's social worker will probably visit us at home to see where we live and what we're like - and to ascertain whether or not we'd be suitable to adopt those children. The children's social worker may be visiting a number of potential adopters at this stage, to find the best ones for those children.
If the children's social worker decides that we're right for those children, then we would go forward to a 'matching panel' at the children's adoption agency. Again, we'd probably be asked to attend that, and it could be anywhere in the country, depending on where the children are from. An approval from that panel would mean we were matched with those children. A programme of introductions would then be planned, probably over a period of a few weeks - this would involve us meeting the children for a few hours to start with, slowly increasing the length of time until we were getting them up in the morning and putting them to bed at night. Once everybody is happy with how things are going, we'd take the children home to live with us...!
If everything proceeded well, we'd then look to apply for an adoption order about 6 months after that - but that's a way off yet!
And so...
We're really thankful that the assessment has gone well, with many positive comments about us from SW.
We'd value your prayers and support over the next few weeks - as we wait and prepare for Panel on 10th July, and as we start to consider possible matches with children.
One of the most difficult things for us is reading the short profiles of children who are awaiting adoption - and then trying to decide if we want to request more details. Please pray that it would be abundantly clear which children we should enquire about.
If you want to keep up-to-date with how things are going, please have a look at my blog (that's here!) which I update from time to time with our latest news about adoption and other random things!
Thanks for reading this far - and for your support, love and prayers for us.
x
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Just10 - week 5
One of our Kidz Klub mums made the front page of the Just10 news sheet this week.
Click on the image to read Karin's story...
Click on the image to read Karin's story...
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Before adopting kids - 15 quick training sessions - Part 1
On our last assessment visit, our social worker left us with 15 quick training sessions to undertake....
I share the first of the sessions here with you...
Session 1
Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
Go home.
Pick up a newspaper.
Read it for the last time.
Session 2
Before you adopt your children, find a couple who already are parents and advise them how to improve:
1. their methods of discipline
2. their lack of patience
3. their appalling low tolerance levels
4 their practice of allowing their children to run wild
5. their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour
Enjoy it.
It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
Session 3
To discover how nights will feel...
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag of old lentil soup weighing 6kg, with a radio tuned to static playing loudly
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep
3. Get up at midnight and walk the bag of lentil soup round the living room until 1am
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
8. Get up. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
Session 4
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy a live octopus and a small bag made of loose mesh.
2 Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Session 5
Forget the BMW and buy a practical 5-door saloon or people carrier. And don't think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a coin. Insert it in the CD player.
3. Take a family-sized packet of chocolate biscuits and mash them into the back seat.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. Perfect!
Session 6
Get ready to go out.
1. Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour
2. Go out the front door
3. Come in again
4. Go out
5. Come back in
6. Go out again
7. Walk down the front driveway
8. Walk back up it
9. Walk down it again
10. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes
11. Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about, every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way
12. Retrace your steps
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you
14. Give up and go back into the house
You are just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Session 7
Repeat everything at least 100 times.
I share the first of the sessions here with you...
Session 1
Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
Go home.
Pick up a newspaper.
Read it for the last time.
Session 2
Before you adopt your children, find a couple who already are parents and advise them how to improve:
1. their methods of discipline
2. their lack of patience
3. their appalling low tolerance levels
4 their practice of allowing their children to run wild
5. their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour
Enjoy it.
It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.
Session 3
To discover how nights will feel...
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag of old lentil soup weighing 6kg, with a radio tuned to static playing loudly
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep
3. Get up at midnight and walk the bag of lentil soup round the living room until 1am
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
8. Get up. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
Session 4
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy a live octopus and a small bag made of loose mesh.
2 Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Session 5
Forget the BMW and buy a practical 5-door saloon or people carrier. And don't think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a coin. Insert it in the CD player.
3. Take a family-sized packet of chocolate biscuits and mash them into the back seat.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There. Perfect!
Session 6
Get ready to go out.
1. Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour
2. Go out the front door
3. Come in again
4. Go out
5. Come back in
6. Go out again
7. Walk down the front driveway
8. Walk back up it
9. Walk down it again
10. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes
11. Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about, every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way
12. Retrace your steps
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you
14. Give up and go back into the house
You are just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Session 7
Repeat everything at least 100 times.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Walk the path I've paved for you
My good friend, TheWeeScottie, has penned a poem...
‘Walk the path’, my saviour said,
‘The one I’ve paved for you
And you will see the wonderous things
I’ve laid in store for you’
You can read the rest here.
Inspired words, I feel, in these uncertain times.
‘Walk the path’, my saviour said,
‘The one I’ve paved for you
And you will see the wonderous things
I’ve laid in store for you’
You can read the rest here.
Inspired words, I feel, in these uncertain times.
Garry's coming to Just10
Garry Brotherston is coming to tell his story next week at Just10 in Gateshead and Stockton......a journey from imprisonment and condemnation to grace and freedom in Christ!
It should be another fantastic night - with J John explaining the 5th commandment - and talking about controlling our anger.
Let's pray that the many thousands attending would hear God speak to them in a new and powerful way through Garry's and J John's words...
Here's one of Garry's songs - powerful words.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Roll on 10 July
Hurrah!
Whooopee!
Woo-hoooo!
Much jumping up and down, waving of arms and shouting!
Our home assessment is complete!
We saw our social worker this evening for the last time (well, last time for a few weeks!). He's visited and spoken to all our referees. He's seen us on at least 12 occasions. Hours and hours. He's completed our assessment and just needs to write it all up now.
And he's so positive. He talks about there being no 'contra-indications' and of us having a very strong application... Mrs D thinks he means we're marvellous!
Our application will go to the adoption panel on 10 July, all being well.
We'll go too.
By 5pm on 10 July, we should be approved as adopters!
Then the matching begins. The social worker's already keeping his eye out and ear to the ground (sounds a bit painful to do both at the same time!), and he's even mentioned a family in the north-east that may be a possible match...
It's all starting to get very real and very scary!
We know that God knows our children, even though we don't - he knows who they are, where they are and how they are... he knows what they like and don't like... and he's looking after them, preparing them to come and live with us...
Amazing, perplexing, intriguing, and truly awesome, come to think about it!
Whooopee!
Woo-hoooo!
Much jumping up and down, waving of arms and shouting!
Our home assessment is complete!
We saw our social worker this evening for the last time (well, last time for a few weeks!). He's visited and spoken to all our referees. He's seen us on at least 12 occasions. Hours and hours. He's completed our assessment and just needs to write it all up now.
And he's so positive. He talks about there being no 'contra-indications' and of us having a very strong application... Mrs D thinks he means we're marvellous!
Our application will go to the adoption panel on 10 July, all being well.
We'll go too.
By 5pm on 10 July, we should be approved as adopters!
Then the matching begins. The social worker's already keeping his eye out and ear to the ground (sounds a bit painful to do both at the same time!), and he's even mentioned a family in the north-east that may be a possible match...
It's all starting to get very real and very scary!
We know that God knows our children, even though we don't - he knows who they are, where they are and how they are... he knows what they like and don't like... and he's looking after them, preparing them to come and live with us...
Amazing, perplexing, intriguing, and truly awesome, come to think about it!
I'm still here!
Apologies to all of you who thought I'd perhaps dropped off the face of the planet...
No, I'm still very much here, alive and well - there just doesn't seem to be enough time in each day for everything that needs to be done!
We had a fantastic week away in Derbyshire in the middle of April with a great friend of old, and his new wife (great friend of not-so-old!). The sun shone and then the hailstones came and then the sunshine again, followed by snow, then sun, then rain... you get the picture! But lots of good walks with the doglet, and lots of fun by the fire in the evenings with a glass of wine and some silly games!
Just10 has started now -taking up another of our evenings each week - but so worthwhile - J John is such an inspirational speaker - presenting the 10 commandments in such relevant ways for today... Along with the 5000 other people in the canvas cathedral each week, two of our KidzKlub mums have been coming along and both have made commitments - and we're only 3 weeks in!
Along with all of that, we've been meeting with our social worker once or twice a week to complete our home assessment...
I hope that things will calm down a bit for the next few weeks, so a more normal blogging service should be restored!
No, I'm still very much here, alive and well - there just doesn't seem to be enough time in each day for everything that needs to be done!
We had a fantastic week away in Derbyshire in the middle of April with a great friend of old, and his new wife (great friend of not-so-old!). The sun shone and then the hailstones came and then the sunshine again, followed by snow, then sun, then rain... you get the picture! But lots of good walks with the doglet, and lots of fun by the fire in the evenings with a glass of wine and some silly games!
Just10 has started now -taking up another of our evenings each week - but so worthwhile - J John is such an inspirational speaker - presenting the 10 commandments in such relevant ways for today... Along with the 5000 other people in the canvas cathedral each week, two of our KidzKlub mums have been coming along and both have made commitments - and we're only 3 weeks in!
Along with all of that, we've been meeting with our social worker once or twice a week to complete our home assessment...
I hope that things will calm down a bit for the next few weeks, so a more normal blogging service should be restored!
Sunday, April 06, 2008
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