May half term

We all had a lovely few days earlier this week in south-west Scotland at my parents' caravan in Kippford.

The boys had great fun playing in the sea, building dams on the beach, exploring, finding sticks, and generally messing about and being boys!

The time away was all the better for Mrs DHG finding out the day before we went away that she was no longer being made redundant! They may look at it agin in March, but she's safe till then. A great answer to prayer - thanks!

Here are a few photos:


Messing about on Rocklciffe beach

Good friends as well as brothers!

Jobless

Mrs DHG, that is.
Her head teacher turned up on our doorstep at 9.40 yesterday evening to deliver the dreaded brown envelope.
9.40!
a Friday evening!
At home!

Redundant from the end of August.

The words are ringing round our heads at the moment.
Why us?
What does it mean?
Is there a chance of a reprieve?
Where is God in it all?

It's too early to know what the outcome will be - there's a final hearing in a couple of weeks where Mrs DHG can make comments and ask for other things to be considered - but I suspect it's a done deal. It's simply a case of there being too few children in the catchment of the school, and too many teachers able to teach science.

I'm sure God has a plan - and most likely (definitely?) something even better - for her and us - it's just difficult to make any sense of it at the moment.

So we'd appreciate your prayers for us over the next weeks and months, as we seek to find God's will for us. And your prayers for Mrs DHG as she battles with feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence.

Thanks.

A week in the North York Moors

Here are a selection of photos from our week away in the North York Moors National Park.
We stayed in a huge house and met up with good friends and their 3 boys aged 7, 6 and 4. As you can imagine, chaos reigned until around 8 every evening... but it was great fun and something we'd definitely do again!


Cuthbert running to see the lifeboat at Runswick Bay...


Cuthbert spinning at the excellent playpark in Danby


Dibble climbing the cargo net - "I did it! Oh yeh!"



Is it the Polar Express? Or the Hogwarts Express, perhaps?
Sadly not, but almost as exciting!

Dibble throwing stones into the wee moorland beck

Running through the 'tube', as it became known!

Looking south from Scarborough Castle on the bleakest day of April!
It really was cold!

Roly poly down the banks at Scarborough Castle proved to be a major hit!
What more do 6 boys need than a grassy bank?

Whitby piers

McGrew and Dibble trying to get soaked by the waves (and succeeding spectacularly!)

Cuthbert and Dibble waiting excitedly for the steam train at Goathland

Dibble is three!

Happy Birthday Dibble!
Three yesterday... and apparently off to Africa on Sunday as Tearfund's youngest volunteer!

That probably needs some explanation...

Last week, Dibble joined some of his friends in a 24 hour swimathon to raise money for one of Tearfund's clean water projects in Uganda. Not that he actually swam non-stop for 24h, but he was there at the start and finish, and managed about 20 lengths altogether, though 15 of those were aided by hitching a lift on the back of Mrs DHG's costume!

But he managed to raise over £300 for the project - well done Dibble!

Anyway, this evening, while settling down into bed, the converstation went something like this:

"Dibble, you've had a busy day today - you need to go to sleep now and get lots of rest ready for tomorrow."
"Yes, daddy. I go to Africa"
"You're going to Africa? When?"
"I go to Africa on Sunday."
"I see. Are you going by yourself?"
"No, I going with doglet"
"Right, so you're going to Africa on Sunday with doglet. Why?"
"I going to bring them some clean water to drink!"

There's not a lot you can say to that!

History maker

Do you have a curly tail?

Dibble was telling his Grandpa all about 'Story Party' yesterday, and recounting the exciting story he'd been listening to. It was all about a farm, and Dibble had been given a cuddly pig to look after during the story.

Grandpa asked Dibble if the pig had a curly tail.
Dibble replied 'Yes'

Grandpa then asked Dibble if he had a curly tail too.
Dibble replied 'No, I have a willy!'

It took a long time for Grandpa to stop laughing!

Question of the day

Dibble asked me this after tea this evening...

"Daddy - why do you have two legs?"

Answers, please!

Newcastle Maker Faire

We're planning on going along to Maker Faire on Saturday. The Discovery Museum and the Centre for Life both have loads of cool stuff going on...

... like Racing power tools, challenging the world’s fastest Rubik’s cube solving robot, making your own 3D glasses, getting your photo taken by a six legged robot, dancing with a robot made of recycled bottles…

Fun fun fun!

Proud parents

McGrew and Cuthbert's parents' evening tonight.
They're both marvellous, according to their teachers.
Particularly McGrew.

Those of you who know about education these days will know that children get set targets at the start of each year - these are generally two sub-levels above the level they are working at the end of the previous year.

We're now half way through the year, and McGrew has blown the targets out of the water.
Since September, he's moved up 4 sub-levels in his reading (now at 2b), 3 sub-levels in writing (now at 1a) and 3 sub-levels in maths (now 2c).

Mrs DHG struggled to hold back tears of joy when his teacher told us.

The government target is for the average child at the end of Year 2 to be at level 2b in each of the three subjects. So McGrew has already achieved that in reading. And a level 2b in maths and writing is well within his grasp.

In a term and a half, McGrew has made up more than a year.
It is truly fantastic - and we've made sure McGrew knows how proud we are of him.

Well done McGrew!

Beyond consequences

For a few months, we've been looking for some guidance and help in new approaches to parenting McGrew and Dibble. The traditional 'Supernanny' approach just isn't working!

Some professionals have pointed us in the direction of the 'Beyond Consequence Institute' and in particular one of their books - Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control.

It was the subtitle that really caught our eye - 'a love based approach to helping children with severe behaviours'.

A love-based approach!
'Is not all parenting love-based?', you may ask... That's what I thought.
But cctually, many of the traditional approaches seem to be based in fear:

• If you don't do this, then such and such will happen.
• If you do x, y and z, then you will get a star on your chart.

It all hinges on fear of what will or won't happen. And for our boys, more fear is the last thing they need. They've had fear in bucket loads in their short lives already.

Beyond Consequences approaches it differently, based on the principle that all negative behaviour arises from an unconcious, fear-based state of stress. And in children who have experienced significant trauma, the unconcious state of stress is high most of the time. It's had to be that way for them to have survived in the past.

So instead of consequences, Beyond Consequences suggests that we respond to negative behaviours with love, reassurance, calm, soothing and an understanding that in the moment of the behaviour, the child is highly stressed, full of unconcious fear and unable to regulate themselves.

We've been trying (and often failing) this approach for just a few days now, but already the results are amazing.
Much more calm.
Much less stress - not only in the boys, but also in Mrs DHG and me...

I'll let you know how it goes!

I'm back

Here I am.
Back.
With a new look to the blog.

I hadn't intended to be away so long - but days turned into weeks into months, and then suddenly it's March! Sorry.

Life in the DHG house has been interesting since I was last here.

Mrs DHG has gone back to work part-time.
Which means Dibble has been going to nursery 2 days a week - and loving it (charming the staff most of the time with his singing, jokes and antics).
Which means we all have to be much more organised - particularly when it comes to meal times!

McGrew is coming on in leaps and bounds - academically, emotionally and socially - though he is having some wobbles - at home and school. Lots of insecurities, routed in his past trauma and fear are coming to light in interesting ways. Taking the oddest things from around the house to stash in his room have become almost daily occurrences - but more on that another day!

Cuthbert is also doing very well academically - his reading is fantastic and improving every day. But he too is having wobbles, again routed in past trauma and fear. He often struggles when things don't go exactly his way - sometimes resulting in up to half-hour long tantrums - not easy to be on the receiving end...

But through all the challenges, we are constantly reassured that God is with us - and ultimately we know that love will drive out all fear - and so we keep on loving.