May half term

We all had a lovely few days earlier this week in south-west Scotland at my parents' caravan in Kippford.

The boys had great fun playing in the sea, building dams on the beach, exploring, finding sticks, and generally messing about and being boys!

The time away was all the better for Mrs DHG finding out the day before we went away that she was no longer being made redundant! They may look at it agin in March, but she's safe till then. A great answer to prayer - thanks!

Here are a few photos:


Messing about on Rocklciffe beach

Good friends as well as brothers!

Jobless

Mrs DHG, that is.
Her head teacher turned up on our doorstep at 9.40 yesterday evening to deliver the dreaded brown envelope.
9.40!
a Friday evening!
At home!

Redundant from the end of August.

The words are ringing round our heads at the moment.
Why us?
What does it mean?
Is there a chance of a reprieve?
Where is God in it all?

It's too early to know what the outcome will be - there's a final hearing in a couple of weeks where Mrs DHG can make comments and ask for other things to be considered - but I suspect it's a done deal. It's simply a case of there being too few children in the catchment of the school, and too many teachers able to teach science.

I'm sure God has a plan - and most likely (definitely?) something even better - for her and us - it's just difficult to make any sense of it at the moment.

So we'd appreciate your prayers for us over the next weeks and months, as we seek to find God's will for us. And your prayers for Mrs DHG as she battles with feelings of inadequacy and lack of confidence.

Thanks.

A week in the North York Moors

Here are a selection of photos from our week away in the North York Moors National Park.
We stayed in a huge house and met up with good friends and their 3 boys aged 7, 6 and 4. As you can imagine, chaos reigned until around 8 every evening... but it was great fun and something we'd definitely do again!


Cuthbert running to see the lifeboat at Runswick Bay...


Cuthbert spinning at the excellent playpark in Danby


Dibble climbing the cargo net - "I did it! Oh yeh!"



Is it the Polar Express? Or the Hogwarts Express, perhaps?
Sadly not, but almost as exciting!

Dibble throwing stones into the wee moorland beck

Running through the 'tube', as it became known!

Looking south from Scarborough Castle on the bleakest day of April!
It really was cold!

Roly poly down the banks at Scarborough Castle proved to be a major hit!
What more do 6 boys need than a grassy bank?

Whitby piers

McGrew and Dibble trying to get soaked by the waves (and succeeding spectacularly!)

Cuthbert and Dibble waiting excitedly for the steam train at Goathland

Dibble is three!

Happy Birthday Dibble!
Three yesterday... and apparently off to Africa on Sunday as Tearfund's youngest volunteer!

That probably needs some explanation...

Last week, Dibble joined some of his friends in a 24 hour swimathon to raise money for one of Tearfund's clean water projects in Uganda. Not that he actually swam non-stop for 24h, but he was there at the start and finish, and managed about 20 lengths altogether, though 15 of those were aided by hitching a lift on the back of Mrs DHG's costume!

But he managed to raise over £300 for the project - well done Dibble!

Anyway, this evening, while settling down into bed, the converstation went something like this:

"Dibble, you've had a busy day today - you need to go to sleep now and get lots of rest ready for tomorrow."
"Yes, daddy. I go to Africa"
"You're going to Africa? When?"
"I go to Africa on Sunday."
"I see. Are you going by yourself?"
"No, I going with doglet"
"Right, so you're going to Africa on Sunday with doglet. Why?"
"I going to bring them some clean water to drink!"

There's not a lot you can say to that!

Do you have a curly tail?

Dibble was telling his Grandpa all about 'Story Party' yesterday, and recounting the exciting story he'd been listening to. It was all about a farm, and Dibble had been given a cuddly pig to look after during the story.

Grandpa asked Dibble if the pig had a curly tail.
Dibble replied 'Yes'

Grandpa then asked Dibble if he had a curly tail too.
Dibble replied 'No, I have a willy!'

It took a long time for Grandpa to stop laughing!

Question of the day

Dibble asked me this after tea this evening...

"Daddy - why do you have two legs?"

Answers, please!

Newcastle Maker Faire

We're planning on going along to Maker Faire on Saturday. The Discovery Museum and the Centre for Life both have loads of cool stuff going on...

... like Racing power tools, challenging the world’s fastest Rubik’s cube solving robot, making your own 3D glasses, getting your photo taken by a six legged robot, dancing with a robot made of recycled bottles…

Fun fun fun!

Proud parents

McGrew and Cuthbert's parents' evening tonight.
They're both marvellous, according to their teachers.
Particularly McGrew.

Those of you who know about education these days will know that children get set targets at the start of each year - these are generally two sub-levels above the level they are working at the end of the previous year.

We're now half way through the year, and McGrew has blown the targets out of the water.
Since September, he's moved up 4 sub-levels in his reading (now at 2b), 3 sub-levels in writing (now at 1a) and 3 sub-levels in maths (now 2c).

Mrs DHG struggled to hold back tears of joy when his teacher told us.

The government target is for the average child at the end of Year 2 to be at level 2b in each of the three subjects. So McGrew has already achieved that in reading. And a level 2b in maths and writing is well within his grasp.

In a term and a half, McGrew has made up more than a year.
It is truly fantastic - and we've made sure McGrew knows how proud we are of him.

Well done McGrew!

Beyond consequences

For a few months, we've been looking for some guidance and help in new approaches to parenting McGrew and Dibble. The traditional 'Supernanny' approach just isn't working!

Some professionals have pointed us in the direction of the 'Beyond Consequence Institute' and in particular one of their books - Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control.

It was the subtitle that really caught our eye - 'a love based approach to helping children with severe behaviours'.

A love-based approach!
'Is not all parenting love-based?', you may ask... That's what I thought.
But cctually, many of the traditional approaches seem to be based in fear:

• If you don't do this, then such and such will happen.
• If you do x, y and z, then you will get a star on your chart.

It all hinges on fear of what will or won't happen. And for our boys, more fear is the last thing they need. They've had fear in bucket loads in their short lives already.

Beyond Consequences approaches it differently, based on the principle that all negative behaviour arises from an unconcious, fear-based state of stress. And in children who have experienced significant trauma, the unconcious state of stress is high most of the time. It's had to be that way for them to have survived in the past.

So instead of consequences, Beyond Consequences suggests that we respond to negative behaviours with love, reassurance, calm, soothing and an understanding that in the moment of the behaviour, the child is highly stressed, full of unconcious fear and unable to regulate themselves.

We've been trying (and often failing) this approach for just a few days now, but already the results are amazing.
Much more calm.
Much less stress - not only in the boys, but also in Mrs DHG and me...

I'll let you know how it goes!

I'm back

Here I am.
Back.
With a new look to the blog.

I hadn't intended to be away so long - but days turned into weeks into months, and then suddenly it's March! Sorry.

Life in the DHG house has been interesting since I was last here.

Mrs DHG has gone back to work part-time.
Which means Dibble has been going to nursery 2 days a week - and loving it (charming the staff most of the time with his singing, jokes and antics).
Which means we all have to be much more organised - particularly when it comes to meal times!

McGrew is coming on in leaps and bounds - academically, emotionally and socially - though he is having some wobbles - at home and school. Lots of insecurities, routed in his past trauma and fear are coming to light in interesting ways. Taking the oddest things from around the house to stash in his room have become almost daily occurrences - but more on that another day!

Cuthbert is also doing very well academically - his reading is fantastic and improving every day. But he too is having wobbles, again routed in past trauma and fear. He often struggles when things don't go exactly his way - sometimes resulting in up to half-hour long tantrums - not easy to be on the receiving end...

But through all the challenges, we are constantly reassured that God is with us - and ultimately we know that love will drive out all fear - and so we keep on loving.

Ruby party

We all has a fantastic time at my mum and dad's ruby wedding anniversary party on Saturday. It was great to catch up with so many extended family and friends of old and share in such a wonderful happy celebration.

And it was great for McGrew, Cuthbert and Dibble to meet many of their family for the first time. And for family to meet them.

Highlights had to be:

Dibble running around the dance floor trying to trip people up in the middle of a Dashing White Seargent

Dancing a Gay Gordons with Cuthbert - 'can I twirl yet, daddy?'

McGrew running at full pelt onto the dance floor and then dropping to his knees to see how far he could slide

All three boys' politeness and confidence among so many unfamiliar people

Cuthbert and McGrew asking to go to bed because they were tired (hard to believe, but true! - Cuthbert lasted till 10 and McGrew till 11!)

So, congraulations to mum and dad - and here's to many more years!

Autumn collage

by Dibble.

No sterilisers

A momentous day today for McGrew...
He rode his bike without his stabilisers (or sterilisers as he insists on calling them!)

I remember clearly the day I rode my bike without them for the first time, with my dad running behind holding the seat... and then without my knowing, he let go, and I was away... until I realised and promptly fell off!

And so it was today, with me running along behind McGrew, holding his seat, and then when he was on course, I let go and watched with pride as he kept going...

'Look straight ahead McGrew...
Keep peddling McGrew...
Keep your head up...
Well done McGrew!'

Happy memories!

Weekend away

Mrs DHG, McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and I have just returned from a fantastic weekend away with our church family. We hadn't been away like this with the boys before, so we were a wee bit apprehensive. But we needn't have been. It was such a lovely time, being with those we love and cherish and who love and cherish us.

This 'church weekend' takes place every couple of years, with the past few being held at this beautiful place near Whitby. The weather couldn't have been better - warm September sunshine from dawn to dusk all weekend.

The food was grand (let's face it, just not having to prepare, cook, serve and wash-up for 48 hours was a blessing in itself!), and the accomodation was really quite comfy! All five of us were sleeping in the same room (another first!), but in actaul fact the room was almost split into two with the bathroom in the middle - so it felt more like having a small apartment! We all slept extremely well, and thankfully the fire alarm at 5.45 this morning didn't sound in our building, so we slept through the roll call and visiting fire engine! There is a rumour circulating that the prayer coordinator was trying to boost numbers for the 8am meeting! He strongly denies this!

The teaching was both encouraging and challenging - a timely word from God, brought to us by this man, speaking straight into many of our church situations and things we're working through as a body. The teaching was from Titus, and focussed on:

• authority in the church (what should we expect from our leaders / what should they expect from us as congregation?);
• believing (have we lost our impact as Christians? / do we really believe that Jesus is Lord, no matter whether others accept that or not)
• belonging (what does church community really look like / how can we nurture and encourage real community, involvement, getting stuck in when people are so busy / how does consumerism impact on how people feel about church);
• transforming (it's all about people getting to know Jesus / having grace to understand that we're all a work in progress / not expecting people to conform to our understanding of what a believer looks like, says, acts).

Yesterday afternoon we had time to relax - the DHG clan together with another family (boys aged 7 and 3) headed to nearby Grosmont where we boarded, according to Dibble, 'Percy' (this owing to the colour of the engine pulling our carriages!) 'Percy' pulled us up what I have been reliably informed is one of the steepest gradients in the world frequented by steam engines (1 in 49 by all accounts!). Dibble was enthralled by the clickety clack, the guard's whistle and green flag, the smoke and steam. And the ice cream at Goathland (aka Hogsmeade for you Harry Potter fans / aka Aidensfield for you Heartbeat fans!).

So - a really good weekend. Very different (more dipping in an out of things, running after boys, playing at the playpark and wiping noses) than previous church weekends.
But a real blessing none-the-less.
It really is a privilige to spend quality time with family.

Election results unclear

There may well have been a formal announcement at school, however this hasn't been conveyed to the DHG household.

McGrew has given us a number of different accounts, some of which have him winning the election, and others where one of his classmates has been chosen.

Mrs DHG and I suspect that McGrew has been unsuccessful in his first foray into the political arena, however he may be holding out for a recount. Vote rigging scandals, perhaps?

Anyway, if we become aware of any further robust information which sheds light on the results, you'll be the first to know!

Vote McGrew!

McGrew has been nominated as a candidate in his School Council elections tomorrow.
This is the poster he's made to persuade his classmates to vote for him...



Election results will be posted here tomorrow!

Sunny days

Blue skies and sunshine at Cragside on Saturday...

It's amazing...

It's amazing what too much red food colouring can do...

5th place!

The five of us and doglet (plus a good friend and her doglet, Rosie) went to one of our local parks today to 'Paws in the Park', a kind of open-air crufts for local pooches, all in aid of 'Dogs for the Disabled'.

We entered doglet in five categories including 'Best Condition'.
Amazingly, to everyone's surprise, doglet came 5th and received a pink rosette, much to Cuthbert's delight!
Well done, doglet!



Our good friend and her doglet, Rosie, did even better.
In the 'Loveliest eyes' categories, Rosie took first place against very stiff competition!
Well done Rosie!

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Cuthbert!
5 today!

We've had a great family day out at Alnwick Garden - the boys loved jumping around in the fountains and got thoroughly soaked to the skin!

Lunch at the Treehouse was great, too - Cuthbert was enthralled with the magical fairy lights and the fact that the window next to him was pink! He couldn't quite get his head around the fact that they'd built a treehouse that you could sit in, with tables and chairs and a kitchen and lights and toilets!

His last words before he fell asleep were:
"Thank you mummy for today. It's been amazing!"