Preparation Day 1

Well - Mrs D and I have survived the first adoption preparation day.
We joined 4 other couples for the day in Durham - all of us a bit apprehensive and wondering what it would be all about.

We looked at the adoption process in England - the journey children go on from first coming into contact with social services, through care orders, placement orders and finally adoption. We were told about the different types of care for children, including special guardianship, long term fostering, and adoption really as a last resort.

We looked at what the journey would be for us - after the prep days comes home study, which will be a series of about 12 or so fortnightly visits - in parallel our social worker will visit our referees, and also will want to see us interacting with children (do they really want to come to Kidz Klub??!) - this all gets written up into a large tome which is presented to the adoption panel - hopefully to approve us as adoptive parents - around late spring / early summer next year. We then wait for the match - which takes as long as it takes!

We thought about what a child would say, having been with their new family for about a year, when asked how they knew that they were loved.... words along the lines of 'they spend time with me', 'they do what they say', 'they help with my homework', 'they're still there even when I'm naughty', 'they kiss me better when I'm hurt'...

And we thought about some of the things which were specially important when parenting an adoptive child - the importance of praise and encouragement, of being reliable and consistent, and the need for a constant shower of warmth, love and affection - all things which would apply to any child, but even more so when they have experienced loss, grief and huge upset in the past.

We thought about what our lives were like now by apportioning a typical 24 hours... and then thought about that same 24 hours with a child in our family - very different!

There's lots more to come tomorrow and then next week too. But it feels like things have finally started to move forward, albeit slowly... but there's a long way to go!