Preparation Day 3

Another preparation day, and lots more to think about.

We had an encouraging morning discussing issues of attachment - what kind of problems children may have attaching to adults and forming trusting relationships, and what kinds of things we as adopters can do to help children form good attachments...

One of the adoption social workers then talked to us about child development, with the help of a giant Bob the Builder...! We discussed the different stages of children's development, and likened this to building a wall, with foundations formed at an early stage. We discussed what would happen if some of the foundation bricks were missing, as can be the case in children who are looking for adoptive parents. And we thought about our role in rebuilding these missing bits of foundations, to give the child the best possible chance in life. A bit of a scary prospect!

In the afternoon we discussed issues surrounding an adopted child's identity - and the struggles many of the children have - 'where do I come from', 'why was I not wanted', 'do my birth parents think about me'... and the struggles many adopted children have with birthdays - and the memories these bring...

Then we had the privilige of listening to an adopted person talk about their experience of being adopted - though adopted in the 60's when the process was very different, his thoughts and feelings were really useful to hear... and gave us loads to think about in terms of parenting style and the need to be really open with our future children about their adoption.

On reflection, a positive day, but lots to think about!
Day 4 tomorrow.